"I am from.. uhhhhh..."

So a couple days ago I was talking to my professional writing teacher after class. It was just her and me discussing the upcoming assignments and how I can improve my writing. As we are talking, this young man walks in and sits down, it is obvious that he is waiting for his class to begin and decided to come early. My teacher and I said goodbye and I began to pack up my things. Of course, me being me, I look up at the other student, smile and say, "What class is going to be here?" He replies with a smile and with a slight Indian accent, "English". Ahhh, an accent AND he was here for English, he's probably an International student! I hoped so! And if you know me, I love meeting International students and sitting down with them, talking about their culture, family, and trying to learn their language. I immediately lit up and say, "Oh okay!" He hesitates and then says,

"Where are you from?"

Okay, so in this situation, for any adoptee who wasn't born in the same country they're living in, you have this moment of, "Where am I actually from? How do I answer this?" There are three possible answers for me:

1. I am from China

2. I am from Toronto (the last place I lived before BC)

3. I live on the other side of the bridge from here (where I live now)

After those three possible answers cross my mind, I return to replying, smile and say, "I am adopted from China" *he nods his head still smiling and says, "Okay" okay yes, he doesn't seem confused, so keep talking Kira* "But now I live here!" He's still smiling and asks, "Oh, how long have you been here, you have no accent!" See, many people would be offended or angry of someone assuming that you are an International student because you don't look White, but

I just threw my head back and laughed.

After the burst of laughter, I said to him, "Well! I have been living in Canada for... 18 years so I shouldn't have an accent!" We shared a laugh and I was interrupted by a friend who came to talk to me.

Looking back at the moment where I didn't know how to reply to his simple question got me thinking about: where exactly am I from?? China? Yes...? Toronto? Well I did live there for 10 years. My current home? I guess so? Even people who aren't adopted pause at that question, thinking about whether or not to say they're from their birth place or the the town where they last lived. But adoptees, it's kind of like a question about our identity and roots.

Do I say China? I was born there, but I don't remmeber anything about it and I was raised in Canada. If I say China, they'll assume I'm an International student unless I tell them I was adopted. Do I necessarily need to tell them about my adoption? Will they ask me questions if I tell them? Do I feel okay to answer them today or am I too exhausted to go through the hassle? Or I could just say where I used to live, right? Or maybe they were referring to now, where I currently live? Oh frick. In the end, I ended up saying 2/3 answers, but sometimes I say all 3, it kind of depends on the person I'm talking to and what situation I'm in.

I'm sure many adoptees and non-adoptees could relate to the slight pause when answering the simplistic question when meeting new people of, "Where are you from?" But it's more of a personal identity question that adoptees ask themselves in the midst of the moment.

I hope you enjoyed my hilarious experience. The guy seemed super nice and wasn't awkward at all, which made the experience more lighthearted and funny. I was glad to have met him! Thank you for reading and you'll hear from me next week! I have an exciting post that I will be working on, soon to be posted, with the help of other fellow adoptees that will give you a new perspective on being an only-child and adopted.