The Asian Kid Who Mocked Asians

I recently shared a video and some photos on my Facebook that was shared from a fellow Chinese adoptee. The first link is the video and the second link is the FB page of students from the Bowdoin College who posted photos.

This project was first started by a New York Times editor written to the woman who told him to, "go back to China". The photos are of Asian people holding up a sign of past comments or questions that people have said to them. The video is of Asian people discussing their own experience answering those comments or questions. Examples are about the shape of their eyes, racial slurs, stupid language questions, stereotypes and just the crap that Asians have to deal with. Of course every race has to deal with their own form of this, but I decided to share this because of the personal experience I have had with it.

Ever since I moved to West Kelowna ten years ago and started elementary school, there were always tactless people making inappropriate comments about my race. When I lived in Toronto prior to, I never really had an issue because of the large range of diversity. Unfortunately, this area is as I like to call it 'A-white-a$$-town'. There are barely any African American people, but just a fair size of Asians and people from the Middle East and smaller groups of other cultures. For the most part, it is white-dominated despite the ongoing growth in the area. Mostly, it's not a large issue (depending on the people you talk to), but I see diversity as a chance for new learning and experience - that's why I like it. What I learned from moving from big Toronto to small West Kelowna is that with diversity, comes knowledge.

Which leads me into a story:

It really began in middle school. There was a boy and his mother was Japanese and his father was white. He was one out of less than (maybe??) six Asian kids in my school, most of them being girls. Let's just say his name is Sam. So, Sam was in many of my classes and I had known him for three years already. We knew each other pretty well and I would consider him one of my friends.

I distinctly remember one incident in math class where I was sitting in front of him with my friends while he sat with his male friends. All of a sudden, I heard his friends mocking Asian people by pulling their eyes back and saying things in a stereotypical Asian accent imitating the depiction of Asians in Family Guy and South Park. I was completely shocked and disgusted and may have said something along the lines of, "You're so immature." or "That is so racist." But, I was even more shocked when Sam started PULLING HIS EYES BACK AND SAYING THINGS WITH AN ASIAN ACCENT WITH THEM TO ME. Like what??!! What happened to, 'Asians gotta stick up for Asians'? As a minority, isn't it our responsibility to look out for other minorities, especially people in the same ethnic group?? I mean, in general, you should just look out for people, but you get the point. Even his friends thought that was kind of messed up because when he started commenting about how 'squinty' (FYI don't ever use that word when describing an Asian person because they will loathe you and summon their ancestors to reek havoc on your life - JOKE) my eyes were, his friends actually said, "Dude, why are you saying that? Your eyes are more squinty than hers, that makes no sense!" And that's when you know, you've dug yourself in a hole.

I was just so disturbed by the incident that it has still stuck out in my mind even though it's been many years since. To be honest, until you reach post-secondary, I feel like people are constantly just trying to 'fit in' and be like everyone else. The majority of pressure is in high school, but even after, there's always a constant struggle depending on the type of person you are. And hey, maybe he thought he would be accepted if he made fun of me with his friends even though he was the race they were mocking. So, I feel bad for middle-school him. That he felt like he had to be disrespectful to his own race and someone who has faced similar discrimination to feel like he could 'fit in'. So sad and such a waste.

I don't really know if he still does that. I haven't really talked to him in a while, but I hope he feels now that he is able to fully celebrate and be proud of being Asian and not having to pretend to be someone he's not just to 'fit in'.

Good luck Sam, I hope you realized that being yourself is the best thing you can be.