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My Adoption Day
December 10th is always one of my favourite days especially because it signifies the day that changed my life forever.
Adoptees refer to the day that they were officially and/or legally part of their adoptive family as their Adoption Day or Gotcha Day. December 10th, for me, commemorates the day that my Mom first held me in her arms in China and called me her daughter. A little backstory: my Dad wasn't allowed to go with my Mom to get me because they weren't married at the time and the Chinese government wouldn't allow him to accompany her. So on of my Mom's best friends, lovely Leslie, went with her! Thank you Leslie for the phone call! I know I can always count on you to remember my Adoption Day. I love you!
For my family, my Adoption Day is always celebrated. I take a day to not wear sweatpants, put some makeup on and do my hair nicely for a pleasant family meal where we either go out to a gluten free Chinese restaurant (my Mom and Theo are celiac, meaning they cannot eat wheat, barley etc) or we make our own Chinese dinner. This year we decided to cook at home. I really wanted to try making potstickers (dumplings? I have no clue what the different is) with Theo, my Aunty Lynda -who lives ten minutes away from us- made her signature spring rolls and fried rice, my Mom made a beef and vegetable stir fry and my Dad made my request of sweet BBQed pork *cue drooling image*.
We started dinner with my Mom reciting a poem that she found:
We didn't give you the gift of life
But in our hearts we know
The love we feel is deep and real As if it had been so For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
Though we didn't give you the gift of life
Life gave us the gift of you!
She continued with a speech thanking my birth family, for me and for our family. I am always so happy to have such an amazing family who love me and are grateful to my birth family. I think it's important for adoptees and their families to acknowledge the birth family because they are a crucial part of each adoptees' story. I believe, yes, they had to leave me for whatever circumstance, but it's also the reason why I am here and have become who I am, so for that, I am always grateful.
The rest of the dinner was a lot of "Mmm's" and crunching sounds that didn't sound very appetizing when Theo bit into our potstickers (oh well, it was our first attempt). We had a nice family dinner that consisted of my aunt's bellowing infectious laughter, my Dad's horrible 'dad jokes' and Theo and me rolling our eyes and laughing.
Again, it was a happy Adoption Day. I always feel so lucky. I am constantly reminded that many adoptees' families don't celebrate their Adoption Day. Some of the girls in my adoption group talk about it or it's vocalized on the China's Children's International Adoptee Facebook page. Some are okay with that and some aren't. The ones that don't celebrate it feel like their family completely disregards their heritage and where they come from. Many adoptees feel that that adoptive parents should sign an agreement before adopting stating they will respect and share the adoptees' heritage while raising them. Many feel very distanced from their home countries... and that's so incredibly sad. For me personally, I love to have a day that celebrates a special moment in my life that everyone in my family can appreciate too. I don't think I'll ever pass a December 10th without celebrating my Adoption Day in some form and I know my family will never forget. Every December 10th makes me appreciate my birth family, family and my Chinese heritage even more than I already do.
