Let's Be Honest About Asian Guys

Asian guys...what a topic. Boys in general... what a topic (no offense boys).

Guys in general (like girls) are starting to be told what is and what isn't deemed as attractive to the human eye. In the past few years, I feel like social media has really exploded and is pressuring the new generation of Millennials to look a certain way. A way that is acne-free, but genuine. Slim, but toned. An aura of attitude, but down-to-earth. A straight and white smile, but can't be fake. Perfect, but imperfect. Society and social media have been pushing unattainable expectations on people and it has caused us to forget who we are as humans. In my opinion, women have always had unrealistic expectations pushed upon them even before puberty. The expectations of men, while always apparent, have now erupted and is seen more and more daily. This particular post is about Asian men because society portrays them as being unwanted and unattractive causing large backlash from the Asian community. I think it's something to be aware of when watching social media and films because it has conditioned some of us to have a certain perception on an entire race that is unfair and stereotyping.

Imma get right to it

Asian guys have it extra rough. Looking at TV shows, movies and media, most Asian guys are usually portrayed as dorky, khaki short-wearing, calculating nerds who never gets the girl. Either that, or they are a K-Pop, J-Pop, whatever star with a whole lot of swag, money and dance moves. Hard for all of the other Asian men in this world to fit in between those stereotypes. Society in general has a hard time including Asian actors on set with the majority of characters being White. With a limited amount of roles that Asians and particularly Asian men, can fit into, they are categorized into the stereotypical roles. Roles that brainwash society into thinking that Asian men can only be these two things and nothing more. Countless jokes about their size, and *cough* size, and eye shape have been shared since middle school. Traits that they cannot help, but society has conditioned everyone to see them as unattractive. Steve Harvey AKA the man who messed up Miss Universe by announcing the wrong winner, even said on his show,

"Excuse me, do you like Asian men? 'No.' Thank you."

Like damn, how harsh was that? Asian guys around the world got hit hard.

I wanted to get the inside scoop on what some other Asians thought. It just so happened, a fellow Chinese adoptee had openly asked if we preferred Asian men versus other worldly men. Many girls said that they have dated many men from different racial backgrounds. Some girls said they preferred Asian men and 80% of the time date only Asian men. One girl said that she preferred to date an Asian guy because he could understand being 'of colour'. My thought on that is that anyone who is of a different colour could understand that feeling or someone who is able to empathize well, it's not necessarily an Asian guy who has to fit that shoe. What's interesting is that a couple girls say they feel more comfortable dating an Asian guy because they feel 'at home' and they blend in more easily due to also being Asian. One girl said she likes to date men from different backgrounds because she finds half-children intriguingly beautiful.

On the other end of the spectrum, others voiced that they liked to date men who aren't Asian because they were told or felt they were seen as 'not a real Asian' due to being adopted. Honestly, I can relate. Asians in general sometimes don't see me as a 'real Asian' because I wasn't raised in a traditional Chinese home surrounded by Mandarin, authentic Chinese food and Chinese family members, despite the fact that I was born in China. Even when compared to other Asians who weren't necessarily born in China, I am still seen as #2. It's not really a competition of Who is More Asian, but in their eyes it is a matter of how you grew up and whether or not you had specific Asian relations that signify if you're a 'true Asian'.

To sum it up, the majority of girls said they didn't care what race their partner was, but more their personality and values - I think that is the main message to take away from this post. Asian men are only seen as two generalized roles through media and yes, it is so fricken unfair because there's so much more to them than that. More recently, the Asian community is starting to protest against the limited media roles that Asians, male and female, are allowed to play as well as challenging against White characters starring in Chinese films. Believe it or not, Disney was rumoured to be putting White actors for the main characters in the live movie version of Mulan that will be released in 2018. Even in Avatar: The Last Airbender which takes place in a Chinese, historic setting, had barely any Chinese, Japanese, Korean etc. characters in the movie with the majority of the main characters being White. In the future, we're hoping that Asians play more diversified roles besides the swaggy pop star, nerd and begin to eliminate "White-washed media" to show the world that we're more than just those two roles and that each person is different.

My message is to date someone based on who they are, not what they are. And frick, vocalize if you have a fetish for Asians so then you at least gives them a chance to run (lol because that's a real thing and it's gross). You do you Asian guys, go out and rock on :)