The Type of Family I Didn't Expect to See in Spain

It's one day after coming home to Berlin from my 15 day solo trip through Spain. AND IT WAS FANTASTIC! It was my first adventure by myself and to Spain and I truly couldn't have asked for a better trip. I saw so many new landmarks, cathedrals and cultural delicacies... but I saw something that I wasn't really expecting.

It happened first in Malaga. Day 9/15 of my trip and I'm walking down one of the colourful European streets when I pass by a Spanish family. They were speaking in Spanish and the parents were leisurely walking down the street while their daughter rolled beside them on her scooter. I couldn't help but do a double-take as we walked past each other. I glanced over my shoulder multiple times and stopped to stare curiously. Not the most polite thing to do, but I honestly couldn't help it. The reason was because they were a family who looked similar to my family: two Caucasian parents with an Asian daughter.

The second time was on day 12/15 in Valencia. I was sitting on a wall at the edge of a park in the middle of the city on the final day of a religious festival, Las Fallas. I looked up from the ground and my eye caught this young Asian girl wearing a red raincoat whizzing by on a scooter. Then came her parents, who were exactly the same as the first family!! I, again, stared at the family as they walked away (my parents didn't teach me manners obviously, haha). I was in complete shock as I saw the SECOND family who looked like mine! And within 3 days?! What are the chances?? I was excited and intrigued! I remember recently reading an article about Chinese adoption that stated that Spain was one of the most popular countries that adopted from China.

But both stories didn't end the way my last experience ended.

*Recap: I ran after a family from Quebec during my job at a winery this summer because I wanted to ask if their daughter was adopted. She was and from the same province in China as me! They were thrilled to meet me, I collected their contact information and they invited me to visit them in Quebec in the future. It was a wonderful experience.*

This time I didn't approach them. I didn't ask them if she was adopted. I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from running after them. And I felt conflicted the entire time I stared at both families. The reason why I didn't approach either of the families is because 1. I don't speak Spanish and I don't know if they spoke English, 2. I'm in Spain as a tourist and not a local or in a position that would naturally allow me to converse with them, 3. I'm not sure, culturally and individually, how they would react to me asking me that question. There were too many complicated factors so I decided not to. I didn't want to risk offending them, nor did I want to ask them in poor, broken Spanish that I translated from Google Translate. I felt they deserved more than that. I also felt a little out of my authority to say something, so I had to longingly wait until they were out of my sight.

Do I regret not running after them? A bit. But, I also think that I did the right thing in that situation. The only thing I can do now is wish the girls the best on their journey of self-identity and hope that they have a supportive circle.

If there was one thing I could say to those two young girls, if I had approached them, I would have just wanted them to know that there were other people like them out there. I would tell them that there are people who understand how they feel and have the same questions as they do. That it's normal to feel like an outsider, even in your own family. That being adopted won't go away and it's something you cannot run from. Most importantly, that they are not alone and they're part of something bigger than themselves and it is so, so wonderful.